Showing posts with label rob. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rob. Show all posts

Friday, February 18, 2011

February 18th

So tomorrow is old Ellington's funeral. I can't get that out of my head. Ellen came the other day after reading my "perfectly lovely little thing" and invited me to the funeral. She looked so downcast and in need of encouragement that I said I would love to-which was true, if only for her sake. She left looking so happy but I think she left her depression behind-with me. I sat down at my desk with a sigh and good ol' Scottie came over and asked me what was wrong. I replied that I was just depressed for n0 reason. With a wry smile, he said, "Does the source happen to start with an "E"?" I smiled back, then picked up an assignment, signaling that our conversation was now over and that I didn't want to talk. He looked like he was about to argue, then grinned towards the wall behind me and walked back to his desk against the wall opposite me. I looked behind me of course, and saw nothing. I frowned and turned back to my work. I had to get my work done.
Ten minutes later, I sighed and grabbed my coat. I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't think. All I saw was Ellen's hopeful face and the feeling that her depression had been thrown onto me. I walked outside, craving fresh air. As I opened the door, a biting frost hit my face. I gulped in the fresh air, getting momentary relief from the depression. I glanced across the street toward the grocery, wishing I had someone with me who could cheer my mood. I sighed and glanced down the street. At 11am, there was a good amount of traffic but the noise seemed somewhat muted. I couldn't shake off the feeling of depression. I felt like I was drowning, suffocating, smothering, under the desolation of...I don't know what (I'm still depressed, hence my writing at two in the morning. I'm going to be exhausted tomorrow).
Anyway, Rob didn't come out to meet me. For some reason I was disappointed. Maybe it's because I'm a hermit? Because I don't have any friends but him and Scottie? Because I never see my old friends from Hamville anymore? Maybe because I only socialize with professional writers that race to the top and don't speak to me? Maybe because I think about dead people all day and need alive-people contact?
Great. Now I'm all wound up; I can't possibly go to sleep after that.
Is this the price of success? Feeling depressed and all alone, without friends?
Maybe I'll talk to Rosie tomorrow...she's always been able to cheer me up.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

February 8

Well, I finally found you. It's interesting how long it can take to find things after one moves...you were in a box of miscellaneous items that I haven't needed in positive ages, hence my disuse of you.
I think the thing I miss most about my little house is my nighttime walk. And yes, Rob. He actually came over to the office the other day during lunch break to ask me why I had moved. I explained about how I was renting and the lease had expired and how I was now in an apartment. I think I rambled for hours but I had to, for I had just finished a most miserable case. It was old miser Ellington. Everyone knew that he was rich and snobby and made his wife work like a slave so when he died the town celebrated. Then poor Ellen (his wife, you understand) came to the office and asked me to write a "right pretty little thing about poor Eleazar". Rumor has it that she's always loved him, as long as they've been married and after looking at her tear-streaked face, I have to agree.
Anyway, about Rob...he had quite good timing. Right after I had finished writing and scrounging my poor brain trying to find the right words to say about that man (as if anyone's going to be at the funeral! poor Ellen...). But, anyway, Rob has good timing. Very good. Too good. Almost as though he knows me...or just watches me through a window-if he does this he is a creep!
But, no more a creep than Scottie is, I suppose. Scottie works here at the office. He's a investigative journalist and has quite the nose for good stories. He drops by and helps me write up my stories sometimes, when I'm looking more morose than usual...or, as he says, "'bout as bleak as a dead corpse". He's quite the cheerful, chipper sort of person. Last week Harry, the boss, gave me an investigative report job. Sent me down to a morgue.... Let's just say I came back and was able to write quite the descriptive epitaph. Yeah...Scottie was on the way to his job so he gave me a lift. And on the way, gave me a crash course on investigative reporting. In short, I learned that one must be like Sherlock Holmes to get a good article. And I was observant like a good girl and got praised by Harry for a job well done. When I started writing obituaries, the staff had a hard time believing that I had never taken any classes in writing beyond high school. I had really good teachers, though. Problem is, they assume that because I can write good obituaries I can write good articles that require good investigative skills!
But at least I have a job. Scottie and Miss Kim are always telling me to be optimistic and that I let the "subjects" inhabit my mind far too much. But I can't help thinking that the "subjects"-the people I write about-were real people and had real lives and leave behind grieving people. Mom always did tell me that I was good with people and genuinely cared about them.
Ah, yes, and Miss Kim. Now there's a character. She has this presence about her that requires respect. Even Harry (who "don't give titles to no one", in his own words) calls her "Miss Kim". She is a prim and proper, but very very efficient woman. She handles phone calls, mail, correspondence, and all sorts of things. She also brings a change of clothes to work and stocks up aspirin and protein bars enough for the whole office. We joke that she is our "mama" because whenever we need something, there is a 99.9% chance that she has it.
Well, I'm tired enough now to go to sleep. All this time that I haven't been writing in you, I have been reading books that Miss Kim gave me. They're so dry and dull that I go to sleep quite quickly. But after Ellington today, I needed someplace to vent.
And it's not fun to walk around the block here-far too many apartments and late-night partiers.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

June 18

Well, my dear horror-diary-maybe I shouldn't call you that; hopefully I'll have some non-horror things to write about soon. Today was just like any other day, writing up plenty of obituaries...is it just me or are people dying more than they used to? Actually, here's the problem: that the editor used to toss together an obituary whenever it was needed but now I have that entire job with no help. And people apparently love my "gift". So they would rather send their obituary-request to me instead of any other paper. Good for my job, bad for my sanity. Anyway, I need to get my mind off that. Grrr, that's why I have you! So I have something else to think about!!

I've been reading my last post and...well, I'll tell you about Rob now.

Honestly, I don't even know who he is. I go walking at night to try and distract myself from my work...about nine o'clock every night. Sometimes I saw this guy walking down the street but all we would do is nod, say "hello", and keep walking. After about two weeks of doing that every night, I decided that it was time to say more than "hello". After screwing up my courage, I went on my walk but he wasn't walking that night. The next day was especially excrutiating at work and I went walking for two hours, around and around the block. When I was nearing the end of my third trip around the block, Rob came out of his door.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," I replied with a small smile. I remembered my resolution from the previous night to say more than that so I opened my mouth to speak but he beat me to it.

"This is a wonderful place to walk, isn't it?"

I nodded, "Indeed it is."

"Do you work at the newspaper office? I've seen you walk in there every day...I work across the street at the grocer's."

"Oh, yeah, I work there. That grocery is really cute. It has some very interesting little items that one can't find elsewhere." Anything to keep the conversation going, I thought to myself.

"Yeah, I'm one of the few full-time employees. The 'little interesting things' is what keeps us in business." He paused for a second then continued, "What do you do at the newspaper office?"

"I write columns." Why do you want to know, I asked him in my head. My face must have been telling of my mistrust because he said,

"Oh, I've always thought that writing is one of the most amazing jobs a person could have."

Phone just rang. It's my mother. She'll probably keep me up till I'm tired enough to fall asleep. Good-night, Diary.